Cleveland, Ohio

I remember back in my high school years, of the personality I had.  I was cocky, arrogant at times, still friendly with those I came in contact with, but yet didn't seem to care about being the caring guy.  I always worried about what others thought about who I was or how I acted.  I tried way to hard to get people to like me.  When I tried to fit myself into certain groups, I would sometimes change who I was, and that too, failed abruptly.  My attitude honestly became worse towards others and myself after high school and I was not the person that my parents had raised me to be nor, as I would find out in later time, who I really wanted to be.  Then came my 2 year mission to Cleveland Ohio.  I left to Cleveland, from the MTC in Provo, to try and do something the Lord had in my life plan from the very start.  I'm not going to get religious on this blog post.  But I will say that I was converted by the Lord to the person who He wanted me to be.  I left September 22, 2005 and returned September 9, 2007.  There are many things I miss about that area. 
- I miss the fall.  My, how gorgeous it is in the fall, because the area is filled with trees everywhere and though there are no mountains, the landscape is absolutely amazing! 
- I miss CiCis Pizza!  A pizza buffet that had EVERY kind of Pizza!  But the best was there cinnamon rolls.  Not joking when I say that I think I gained 14 pounds in that area thanks to that buffet!  
- I miss the walks at night.  The winter walks sucked, no lying there.  But the ones in the fall and spring were incredible and some of my most favorite.  We'd sometimes bike ride too, and they were just pleasant as could be.  Those were the times where my comp and I would talk and get to know each other and go into a deep life discussion.  It was warm so you weren't into big of a hurry to get inside.  I miss a couple of the areas.  The 2 that I miss most are, East Cleveland, and an place called Hills & Dales, which is located next door to Massilon and near Canton.  

     East Cleveland will always hold a place in my heart.  I LOVED the people, and not just because they were black.  Some of them were the nicest I could have imagined.  They were fun to be around, loved God (even when they were high on whatever it was they were doing), the youth there were hilarious even when they were making fun of us (which to this day I think they taunting my white companion, because I know how they all roll, so we never had issues) The fact that there was a rap song blowing out of every car you drove by, and all of them with the same freaking song.  The bus system was way fun to use.  Some of those people would be going crazy screaming and yelling weird stuff every time they saw the "Jesus People" get on.  

        Canton was "Football country" unlike anywhere else I've ever been.  Massilon vs Canton High School attracted more people than a Jackson County High School Prom.  These people were in love with football and I loved that I was in the area during the fall season.  The area is so dang unbelievably beautiful it is unreal!!!!!!!!  I could live there forever and never have a complaint.  I'll suck it up through a winter to enjoy a spring, summer, and fall, with the fall bringing on the pigskin fall traditions.  As I am sure you know, the football hall of fame is there as well so it was a genuine blessing from the Lord to me that I was able to visit a place that honors the game that I cherish.  The people were also very warm to us.  I did not have any "success" in regards of baptisms, actually that area was my worst production area, because they didn't want anything to do with the LDS church, but at the same time I made some wonderful friends.  There was Richard Owen, who I became very close and as did other missionaries gain a close friendship to him as well, had a powerful influence on me to smile and enjoy life.  He was constantly fighting an emotional, physical, and spiritual battle everyday of his life but you could never see it if you didn't know what was going on in his life.  His sense of humor, willingness to care, and love of life always overshadowed the hardship and adversity he took on which ever way it came and I tell you what, it came at a pace that some people would have balled up and sat in a corner and surrendered to the devil himself.  Richard was a great example to me.  Richard passed away in 2008, and to this very day, there are moments where I can fill his spirit.  The person or in this case, family that had a huge impact on me was the Thomas Family.  A mom who's personality was identical to my mom that made me feel right at home, courageously raising two daughters, who are as outgoing as....well lets just say there is never a dull moment in their home.  The daughters, Hannah and Sarah, all grown now up bring forth eventful moments into the home with there cooky ideas, and stories.  I remember when I met the mother, Suzan.  I honestly thought she hated me like Cleveland hates Lebron.  Not kidding at this moment either, it wasn't until Easter of 2006 while at Richard Owens house, that her and I actually had a humanized conversation about....Hannah.  In saying that, the conversation got a tad weird for me, since I hated the girl (or any girl age 17 or younger) with all of my heart.  That's what missions do to you.  Because of the standards you are expected to hold and should hold, you begin to see how totally insane teenage girls are.  I saw it in Hannah the moment I met her.  Anyway, Suzan and I became very close friends.  I remember when she was being taught by the sister missionaries, she called me one night because she had a question about a topic.  To the best of my memory I answered the question, but then she asked about me.  It was something to the effect of why I was given such an outgoing personality, but yet so willing to hide it.  I opened up unexpectedly and we've never lost touch of each other since that moment.  I visited the Thomas Family, during spring break of 2010.  Canton was still gorgeous as ever, Suzan was still the mom of the year in my books, Hannah had became less psycho, which made it easier for me to approach her and Sarah who I don't ever remember meeting during my time there in 2006, was one of the funniest gals I've met.  Her life could be a comedy book and just the introduction would make you change your pants twice.  I love the experience I gained within just 2 short years and I'm grateful for the Lord being so persistent in getting me to go on a mission so He could change me into a better person.  I'm grateful for the people I met at every door step, or through other various ways.  I'm grateful for the friends I made in those 2 years, and I'm most grateful for memories I've created in those 2 years!!

PICTURES are worth a THOUSAND words....

So this is my parents retirement home.  There's a more updated version that I've yet to put on here, but they said they wanted to "Downsize" and i really don't think this was it.

The love of my life, beat of my heart, happiness in my smile, light of my life..people meet my dog Harlee!  Actually the family named it Harlee but I named her Ferocious!  You can tell why I named her that by this picture.

Harlee was not cooperating with my wanting to have a photo shoot with her and I.

That's MUCH BETTER!

Ok, so she wouldn't stay still for even a second.  So I told her I was taking one more picture then leaving.  Well at the last second, she poked her head up and kissed me.  Not the most romantic one I've ever experienced, but at least we got one in, right?

....

My younger brother Nick and I.  I love this kid to death.  We're pretty close.  He lives in Montana, and I miss him like crazy.

Retirement home.  Guess what the biggest room will be in this house??  My moms sewing room..

So I just got done with my blog then my mom put this picture up on Facebook, so I stole it from her and had to show you all!!  I'm totally stoked about it..I'm still in negotiating terms with the life size statue of me they are going to put in front of the house ;)

Life of 2011....so far

So 2011 is over halfway done now and here in July I finally thought I'd update you on life so far, from this year.  It's been a learning experience to say the least..as much as there's good times I'd say there has been plenty of heartache as well.  The eventful part starts off when I was dating a girl, whom I met at work.  Her name I'll keep secret, but will tell you that she is a wonderful girl in so many ways.  Though we never really got serious, we were with each other a lot of the time.  I really did cherish my time with her and appreciated the moments that we had.  But as time went on, I found out that there was another guy.  He's been talked about in my earlier post, but she fell for him....and I had no idea.  I finally called her out on her kissin him.  She confessed she did and stated, "Sometimes you don't need a reason to kiss someone.  You can kiss someone just to kiss him/her."  That bothered me for quiet sometime..I even thought about doing just that..to see what it feels like.  I still haven't done it.  One night we had a huge argument after she had stood me up 2 days in a row.  I ended my friendship with her and have elimninated any contact with her as well.  It's something I've never done before with anyone..but she had so much emotional control over me, because I liked her so much.  I had to take her completely out of my life. and hope to never had the desire to do so again.  She still crosses my mind, when I hear a song, or a comment, or her name.  But I've learned that sometimes you have to let go of something good, so something better can fall into place.  I'm still waiting for that better part. 
        My grandma, Jane Salvesen, has been one of my closest friends, and strongest supporters of my whole life.  She was always encouraging of me and yet, knew when to instruct me on things that I needed to improve upon.  She is incredible in so many ways, and loving from the bottom of her heart.  In May Jane was sick, we all thought she'd be able to press through it since she's done it so many other times.  But as time went on through the month, she got weaker, and more sick.  I realized that this time, the sickness was going to get the most of her.  I remember just before she was sick I went over and visited her and grandpa.  They weren't able to go to church because it was to hard for them.  So whenever I'd give a talk, I'd go to their house and give the talk to them to.  They both seemed to love when I would do that.  Especially grandma.  That day I wanted to give them one of my talks.  As I was giving the talk my mom had walked in and down the stairs.  I had to go talk to her about something and interupted the talk to see mom.  I never came back up to finish it.  I still regret that to this day.  The last talk I gave them, I never finished.   When I came home from my mission, I gave them my homecoming talk, I remember my grandma getting emotional, and with her voice cracking said, "I'm so proud of you."  That really meant a lot to me.  As she laid on her bed 4 years later, with only hours until she moved on from this life, it was just her and I in the bedroom.  I was having a hard time saying anything to her because I'd nearly start crying.  Finally I was able to have enough control of my emotions to talk to her.  I said a few things, and she responded with some thoughts.  I won't put on here what I said, but the conversation was beautiful, meaningful, and I won't forget it.  She passed May 24.  I often think about her and the strenght she was to my everyday life.  She still has that same positive influence on me today. 
        I've been active lately as well.  I just finished summer school at Utah State, and look forward to going back in the fall.  I'm playing in 3 softball leagues as well.  I planned on only one, but a guy talked me into to playing and so did another.  I am pretty sure my arm will need sewed back on by the end of the seasons.  Mom and Dad sold their house and are buidling their retirement home.  I think they really enjoy it, and the future that home holds for them.  I'm still living in Providence with my good buddy Lace.  He's a great friend to have and we get a long really well.  He's a great chef too!!  I did a little work for the radio station driving the 103.9 PT Cruiser in the July 4th cruise in.  That was a blast, having my music cranked up full blast as I drove down main street waving at all the cruise in fans. 
      So that's my summer thus far, I'm sure I'll update you on all of it after.  Everybody who reads this, I hope life is good for you.  Always smile, laugh, live and love.  Enjoy the moments, take control, regret nothing.  BYE!!

My summer of....

Ok my faithful bloggers, I'm back.  I had a a few weeks hiatus due to..well whatever it was that I was exactly doing but here I am today on Sunday and wanting to write it up.  I want to write about one of my favorite summer memories that stick out to me.  Summer is always a fun time, and for most where they build great memories.  So here is one of mine..and you might notice that it doesn't include dating a girl.

 It was the summer of 2002 and I was coming off my first year of being an equipment manager for football, basketball, and baseball at Mountain Crest.  We won the 2001 4A football title so Coach Erickson was asked to coach the 4A All-Stars against the 5A All-Stars in Viewmont in 2002.  When I went into his office I shook his hand and congratulated him, he replied, "Well congratulations for being the manager of the 4A team.  I grinned and acted like I knew that it was coming, but inside I got all giddy and excited.  So in June of '02 we got our squad together.  Kids from West high, Logan, Sky View, Highland, Box Elder, Timpview and others. 

    The first practice was light, the second was contact and third we we're in full mode.  One of the days we went to the Logan pool and all hung out.  That's when I was able to get to know some of the guys, including one named Ryan Bohm who was our QB.  Ryan played for Logan High and had talent written all over him.  He was good, extremely good, crazy good.  He tore us apart in the 2000 Region Title game, then the 2000 State Semi-final, ruined our 2001 Homecoming and nearly dashed our State Title dreams in 2001.  Needless to say Ryan wasn't my favorite guy in the world simply because he was so good and owned us during his 3 years at Logan High in football.  As I chatted with him and got to know him he is quite the cool guy.  Humble, great leader, planned on serving a mission--which he did--always nice to everyone who would go chat with him, and their were lots who did.  He was the local hero in Logan and was/is a very good ro-model to kids.  It was really fun to get to know all these players and their differences, how they came together, what they wanted most, and their love for football. 

  The day of the game, my mom and I drove down to Provo.  This is one of my favorite parts of the trip.  I don't remember if my Grandma came down with us or she met us in Provo but somehow I got the front seat.  It was just Mom and I.  I feel that we have  a close friendship.  I can tell her anything and everything and she puts it the way it is and yet is able to comfort me.  Well that 2 1/2 hour ride down we talked and talked about anything and everything.  Just me and her.  She's always been so supportive of me and my dreams.  I'm deeply grateful that she came with me on that trip.  We stopped and grabbed some McDonalds, then my mom dropped me off at the stadium.  The players were all ready to go, just without there pads on.  The game before us went into overtime, so we had to wait a little longer.  Finally we got on the field, had our game plan talk, warmed up, and kickoff was upon us.  The game was exciting and very fun to be a part of.  We lost 27-26.  The game ended at around 10:00pm or so.  But I had to clean up the field and our sideline, and that took a while.  By the time I got out of the stadium it was 11pm.  I was exhausted, drained, and wanted to crash in bed as soon as I got to Aunt Yavonnes house.  By the way Aunt Yavonne is the coolest lady in the world!  My grandma also went with us and when we got in the car, she said lets go eat.  I knew nothing would be open at 11 so why not just go home and make a quick pb&j and call it good.  Well instead of looking for a fast food place we went to Target.  Target?? What could possibly be at Target that would consider feeding us?  We walked into the store, and I was zombie walking it felt like, forcing my body every step from one isle after the other.  Finally we made it to the grill area, where my mom grabbed what would later become one of my closest friends: George Foreman Grill.  It's a small grill that cooks anything.  Cheese Sandwhiches, Hot Dogs, Hamburgers, Steaks, the list goes on!  So we took it home and used it outside because my grandma was afraid that we might "Set of the fire alarm at 11:30pm."  So there we were, grilling till a quarter to midnight.  I ate quickly and went to lay on the couch to sleep. I remember one of my cousins who was living their, grabbed the TV controller as I was watching SportsCenter and telling me about the Rated R movies that are on at that time of night.  I'm pretty sure he was joking..I think? 

 So there is my favorite summer. That's where George Foreman grill and I started a relationship that has never been and never will be broken.  That's where I got to be an all star for one night.  That's where I got to see that great players can also be great people.  That's where my mom and I talked for 2 1/2 hours about life, and I got to sit in the front seat with no siblings to bother us.  All this equaled up to one of my favorite and most memorable summers.  But there is 2003 of course....

Street Ball Rap

So I made up this Street Ball Rap a couple years ago.  Thought I'd share it with you all:

My name is Ajay and let's play some ball! Let's see there six of us here and it will be me vs you all. Why you trippin now? I'll make this look easy. Cross over the first one, blow by the rest of them by the time I get to the rim you all think it got breezy! I say we go to 11, they say they've already won, I chirp out "Hey ain't you guys zero and me, one!"  One shot after the other they hit the net so nice, My D isn't bad either I've swatted the biggest guy not once but twice! Now it's game point for me and they all worn out, "What you boys had enough?" I smile and shout! Now I've saved the best for last you'll see. Their so called best defender get's up in my face. I think boy you'll regret for not givin me space! I take 3 quick dribbles and go behind my back, cross over him and he falls to the floor the sound of it's WHACK! Still have my dribble and gettin the flow, five more to sit down let's end this show!  I split the double team leaving 2 left trying to guard. "1 on 6 I think to myself, dude this isn't hard." The next one takes a quick lunge at me, and I quickly spin around, I mumble underneath my breath, "Boy you look like a clown!" One more left to go and of course it's the biggest guy. Not scared, not hesitating, I say "boy I'm going... to fly!" 3 big dribbles and I lunge myself in the air, Nothin this big boy can do but drop his mouth and stare! My tounge comes out, my knees hit him in the chin. As I come to the ground I start to scream at him, "I just dunked on you boy 11 to 1 that's it I WIN!" The guys walk off the court ashamed as could be. I say "Hey wait I ain't done yet I haven't even shot my three!" Now you guys haven't ever heard this story so you might think it's NO WAY. But why don't you meet me on the court and you'll see for yourself I'm the BEST, I'm the GREATEST, I'm AJAY!

KC "Buttarz" Nordick

KC Nordick, AKA--Buttarz, became a good friend of mine in 2009.  I went bowling with some friends occasionaly and got to know him because he worked there.  I lost touch with KC about a year after that time.  When I finally heard from him again, it was on facebook, in the early part of 2011.  He greeted me with a "Hey man!"  and I responded with just as much as excitement as my computer would allow.  We talked for a bit and then he asked me how I was doing and what I was doing in life.  i answered with the work, church and play comment.  I then asked him the same question.  His response--that he had colon cancer and was approaching the fatal stage 4 of his sickness.  I couldn't believe it, my heart dropped into my stomache.  I started spitting out questions, asking him how long it had been and how I never found out.  He was diagnosed in 2008.  The doctors did what they could and in the end thought they had got it out of his system.  But then a year later when he returned with an illness, the doctors then saw that the dreaded sickness had returned and done so with a vengance on him.  The cancer took a toll on him, emotionally, physcially, and mentally.  But he refused to quit, he refused to doubt, he refused to allow this cancer to bring him down.  He was so positive and happy about life.  I promised him I would pray for him, and he promised he would keep in touch with me on how he was doing.  A month or so went by, and I believe it was in February when I received a text message from KC asking if I would participate in giving him a blessing the following Sunday at his home.  I was honored and emotional in my response back to him of, "I would love to."  On that Sunday my good and life long friend Gavin Vanderbeek picked me up and we drove to the Nordicks home.  5 other men that were close to KC met up there.  His parents aren't active in the church but you could tell they felt something special that Sunday afternoon.  The blessing was to be a healing one and we all knew that it might be his last.  So he asked a close friend of his, to give the annointing and then I asked, "KC, who would you like to seal the annointing and give you the blessing?"  He shrugged his shoulders, and replied "Whoever you guys feel should do it."  We all kind of stood their looking around.  No one said a word, not even the parents. The silence lasted for about a minute when a gentleman from the corner pointed at me and a sharp looking guy next to me and said "I think one of you two should seal it."  We looked at each other and he nodded towards me to give the blessing.  To be honest, I was stunned.  I expected to go their and be apart of it, not actually give the blessing.  But there I was, after the annointing had taken place, surrounded by 6 other great friends to KC, and we laid our hands upon his head and I began to speak what it was Heavenly Father wanted me to say.  I have no idea what I said in that blessing.  But after we all gave KC a hug, I remember I told him I love him, and was going to be their for him through all this.  As we walked out the door I gave the mom a hug, shook the fathers hand and left wondering if I said the right things.  I spoke aloud that that concern as Gavin and I drove home.  I then answered that concern with, "When a worthy priesthood holder gives a blessing it's really Heavenly Father that is speaking."  I never worried about it after thatt moment.  On Tuesday, May 3, 2011 KC escaped the emotional and physical pain and returned to his loving Heavenly Father.  On Thursday I went to the viewing and my mind wrapped itself around that moment.  When I approached Mrs. Nordick, she recognized me and told me thanks for the blessing which I gave him.  I feel it a privilege to of been their, and to of been put on the spot at that moment to give that blessing with 6 other wonderful men.  I love that kid, and I know Heavenly Fathers love for him has been, is and always will be overflowing towards KC.  This post I write tonight on Thursday, May 5, 2011, is dedicated to a fighter, a courageous young warrior, and a positive ray of sunshine to all who met him, a son, a friend, to KC "Buttarz" Nordick.

Here's a question..

Here's a getting to know me thing for all of you who think I'm a mystery:

Only two words...okay maybe 3
1. Where is your cell phone? On my bed 
2. Your significant other? Thinking of me
3. Your hair? Getting shaggy

4. Your mother? Strongest lady
5. Your father? Hardest worker
6. Your favorite thing? Sports
7. Your dream last night? Deep
8. Your favorite drink? Orange Juice
9. Your dream/goal? Succeed
10. The room you're in? Kitchen

11. Your fear? Failure
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? In love
13. Where were you last night? Same place

 14. What you're not? Tall
15. What you are? Charming
16. One of your wish list items? Guitar skills
17. Where did you grow up? Hyrum
18. The last thing you did? Shower
19. What are you wearing? Sweats-tshirt
20. Your TV? None
21. Your pet? Dead
22. Your computer? Working
23. Your life? Inspiring
24. Your mood? Calm
25. Missing someone? Always
26. Your car? Luxury
27. Something you're not wearing? Hat
28. Favorite Store? Footlocker
29. Your summer? Busy
30. Your favorite color? Orange
31. When is the last time you laughed? Softball
32. Last time you cried? Tuesday
33. Someone you cant get outta your head? ....
34. FOUR PLACES I COULD GO OVER AND OVER: a) New York b) Ohio c)Hawaii d) Gym
35. FOUR OF MY FAVORITE FOODS: a)Sandwhiches b)Pasta c)Salad d)Doughnuts
38. FOUR PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW? a) With Family b)Baseball field c)In my bed d)On a Cruise 

Mountain Crest Football Part 2

Ok, so here is part 2 to my Football blog post.  This has to be the most adrenaline moment I've ever had on the field/court in my life.  It was nuts.  Senior year, September 12, 2003.  It's homecoming night vs Skyline, and I'm dressing my first game of my High School career.  I had practiced with the team through out the week and was familiarized with the offensive system, seeing that I had been in the program for 3 years.  My position was wide receiver.  Skyline was a tough team that year.  As for us, we we're 1-2 with that first win being the previous week in a come from behind win against Tooele.  So we thought we had some momentum against this powerhouse 5A squad.  Everything of that night is still clear as day in my memory.  Before the game, the team was gathered in the team room waiting for our coaches to arrive and talk to us.  I walked in, and as I did, I saw a ton the guys smiling at me.  I nodded my head and had some confidence--ok a lot of confidence in me that we we're going to do this.  For us Seniors, we had yet to experience a homecoming win.  Sophomore year we lost to our rival Logan 29-16, and the next year to Box Elder 37-34.   So we wanted to go out and taste a victory on this special occassion.  I went around and high fived some of the players, telling them in a soft, calm voice "We got this, let's go."  Coaches arrived moments later and Coach Erickson talked about playing with emotion, but yet under control,  He used his favorite quote of, "Not to high with the highs, not to low with the lows, just steady as she goes."  We knelt for a prayer then headed out on the field.  I remember gathering at the tunnel.  There were several kids yelling my name and waving at me.  I didn't wave back, didn't even nod at them.  I was to focused, ready to go.  We ran out of the tunnel on to he field and I felt the biggest rush of excitement hit me.  It was crazy.  I turned to look at the crowd and it was jam packed.  My parents were their and so were some close friends of mine who usually wouldn't go to watch a game.  The starting lineups were announced, and the game was on. 

    We got the ball first and it didn't start off to well.  Our first play from scrimmage was a pass that was intercepted and returned for a touchdown.  Our next offensive posession was a fumble and returned for a touchdown, and just like that we were down 14-0.  We would recover a Skyline fumbe and return it to the house to make it 14-7.  On our next offensive posession, still in the first quarter, I got my first shot.  It was a run to the right side with me lined up on the left.  I made a dash toward the safety to hit him, but he got to the pile quickly.  One play, and I was back on the sideline.  On the same posession, we reached midfield, coach Erickson calls me over and says go line up as the 'X' reciever.  That means I'm the furthest outside.  Now when he signaled the play it was 3 wides to the right side, but for whatever reason our QB was yelling at me to get to the left side that was nearest to our bench and line up there.  I raced over and did so--then chaos broke out.  As I line up, I check to the sideline for the play.  We ran a no huddle offense, so Coach was signaling plays in.  He threw about 15 signals at us in 10 seconds, he calls for a running play, opposite side of where I'm at.  But I had a hard time focusing and here's why; As I arrived on the correct side, lined up and was looking for coach to give us the play, I heard a loud chant, and I could see the student jumping up and down in unison chanting.  It got louder and louder, and I finally made sense of it-the whole entire student section was chanting "Ajay, Ajay, Ajay, Ajay....".  I honestly, nearly started laughing, that was when I heard coach scream, "Ajay, get on the ball!!"  I was easily 7 yards off of it, I run up the 7 yards and check with the ref who points at the field and I realize the play had begun.  I ran towards the man guarding me and as the play was ending, I bumped him, he turned and said some stuff, in which I retaliated with my own smack talk.  We line up again, and this time coach calls a freeze play, which is a fake count to draw the defense offsides.  It didn't work.  We nearly got flagged for a delay of game and so we burned a timeout.  I was livid, because that meant I was coming out.  I yelled at our QB to run the offense.  I didn't see the field til the fourth quarter, and needless to say our offense didn't see the endzone that much either.  By the time I got in, it was 56-13 for Skyline.  We took the field for the last time that night and I was called to go in and run a 'hitch route', which is run 5 yards turn around and hope the ball comes to you.  Once again, the ball was thrown to the opposite side, and it was intercepted ending our night and in an embarrasing way. 

   After the game, I was in tears.  I was devestated that not only did we lose, but we got demolished.  As I shook the Skyline players hands each of them gave me a hug.  They knew the meaning that this game had to me, and they were very classy about it as well.  Coach met with the team, afterwards we all went to the locker room--except for me.  As I was making my way their, I was stopped several times by coaches, and fans alike, who all payed me nice compliments of my effort. When I finally made it to the locker room door, I stopped turned around and walked back to the field, again I was approached my many others who complimented my effort to help our team win.  I went to the field, and squatted down, thinking that my dream had turned into a nightmare.  A newspaper reporter than approached me and wanted to interview me.  He asked me questions about my thoughts during the game, my feelings of my effort, and of our teams performance.  I went to the locker room and was the last one their.  I took off the weight of the pads, jersey and pants.  Removed the tape from my cleats, and from my wrist.  Jumped in the shower, and slowly changed into my relaxing sweats and t-shirt, arrived home and slept very well. The next day, our team went to the school to weight lift and watch film.  We lifted our weights and  when we arrived to the coaches office, he told us that the game was in the past, and there was no reason to witness it again. That we needed to move on, right then and their.  That night I went to the homecoming dance with a wonderful gal and we had a great time.  People left and right approached me, and said how fun it was to see me out there.  I agreed with them.  How many kids in high school can say that they had there name chanted by an entire student body?  I still think of that game and though it was a horrible loss, I made a name for myself that night, and made a dream come true.

Mountain Crest Football

I went to Mountain Crest High School, home of the Mustangs in Hyrum, Utah.  I was the waterboy for football, basketball and baseball team.  Today as I opened my closet to grab something out of it, I saw a strong reminder of how much I was blessed being associated with the football squad for 4 years as an equipment manager.  There are 2 experiences that I want to share, and to be thinking of them right now is REALLY giving me goosebumps.  I'll make this part 1 and make part 2 another time.

    After my sophomore year in 2001 of helping the football team, I was then asked to help out basketball midway through their season, and did so til the end of their season, afterwhich I ran right into spring and helped the baseball team as well.  So I was pretty tired to say the least heading into summer and starting over again with Football.  But after the success in my sophomore year with the football squad, which was amazing because we won the 4A State title, I I was asked to be the waterboy for the 4A All-Star football team in the summer of 2002, and our next varsity squad was preseason picked to be number one in the state.  It was exciting and yet very draining on me emotionally and physically.  I remember half way through my junior football season asking myself, "Can I go on with this?  Do I have the energy to make it through the rest of this season? "  I was making some dumb mistakes while helping out the team and a couple times kind of went through the motions.  My coach later told me that it could've been because I wore myself out, but also because I thought I was better than I really was.   He was right on both accounts actually.  I started to do things the way I wanted to, instead of the way they should be done--which is the correct way.  Therefore, I caused a little frustration for coach and even on myself.  But after one game in particular, I went home that night and sat on my bed, almost ready to break out in tears.  Then I looked up at the ring that I was given from our Championship team, I looked at the lettermans certificate from the previous year from all 3 sports I received, and I said to myself something like, "I'm better than what I'm giving, and right now I'm not giving my all.  This needs to change.  I love being a part of this game and team and lately I've been treating it like a job.  That's not what this is, and this is not who I am."  I commited to myself I'd finish the rest of the season with effort, hard work, and satisfaction at the end of the day, whether it was practice, or a game. 

   From that day forward I did just as I promised myself.  At the end of the season, I reflected on my work and though their were some bumps and bruises, I knew I gave my all.  I'm darn grateful for a coach who was patient in helping and teaching me of how to become a better manager and a better person.  We lost to Timpview by 7 in the 2nd round of the playoffs.  After the season was over, the team had a meeting with coach, afterwhich the Seniors would meet with coach.  I was in the team room when the Seniors sat their, coach came in and asked me to go and grab something in his office and then find out some information.  I was bummed I wasn't going to hear their meeting.  I did as told though.  The football banquet was held 1 month later, which was a big time gap from the end of the season til that point.  But coach planned on going to the state championship.  And since we didn't make it that far, he didn't change the time.  At the Banquet coaches talked, players were honored.  All State football players were, Nick Eliason, Ryan Zimmerman, and Carl Blad.  Ryan was and still is one of my closest friends.  We've been close since 6th grade and it was because of him I became a more confident person as I grew up.  Nick and I had a good friendship as well.  I never got to knew Carl that well, but he was quiet, didn't say much, he went out and played hard and that was all the talking he needed to do.  These 3 were seniors that year.  The talent we were losing was going to put a big hole in our team for my Senior year.  But it wasn't that stat that I was so bummed about.  It was the teammates I was losing due to their graduation.  Their were 17 of them.  Some of them, I was closer to than others.  But they made me feel important in a position where I didn't have to feel that, because I had no impact on whether we were going to win that game or not.  After awards were given out to players, seniors acknowledged, and coaches got to speak, Coach Art Erickson then asked me to come up.  I stood to a great applause from the crowd, I even waved to them.  I stood in front of the 17 seniors all of them with big smiles on their faces.  Coach said a few words about me, he reached down to grab a bag at which point Ryan and Nick covered my eyes.  I didn't know what was going on.  When they uncovered my eyes, there on the podium laid my lettermans jacket, a gift from the seniors.  When I was asked to complete those tasks for the coach that day while the senior meeting was going on, that was why.  They were planning what they were going to do for me, and they letterman jacket is the idea they came up with.  I did all I could to control my emotion and I hugged a few of the guys, shook the seniors hands, and acknowledged the crowd one more time.  As I was walking back, I saw my freshmen football coach, who I started this managing gig with.  He was the first to give me a shot, I was congratulated by other teammates, coaches, and parents.  Finally I got back to my seat, immediately I grabbed my napkin cloth and buried into my face as I sobbed uncontrolably.  17 friends of mine, who were the popular kids in high school, the ones that everybody went to watch on Friday night, the ones who had an impact on every game--one night they took a back seat, and gave their appreciation to a guy who was just doing his job the way he was asked to.  Just trying to help the team, though it was in the smallest of ways. I'll never forget that night, that moment of seeing those seniors grins before I'd even made it to the podium, that gift from them that I still to this day, have and very much cherish.  I'll never forget seeing my dads face.  He was smiling, and having him and mom their really meant a lot to me.  As I wrote this blog, I sat here crying again, still trying to dry my eyes and once again, control my emotion.  That night has a very big place in my heart and thinking back to that moment, I never felt so appreciated by a group of guys like I was that evening.  Oh, and you ask what patch they put on the jacket since I do 3 different sports right..they solved all 3 with one patch--it was a waterbottle.

A Better Person because of Her

I've had something on my mind lately, and I've shared it with my roommate and close friends.  But I can't hold it in anymore.  I was raised and taught an husband/father, and my friends dads were great examples as well.  The biggest lesson I've learned from these husbands, is to treat EVERY LADY WITH RESPECT.  Don't become someone that gives a girl any kind of negative taste, by your language, actions towards, yourself, the girl, your family or his/her friends.  I was taught not to ever swear in front of lady, never yell at a lady, not even raising your voice, NEVER, EVER hit a girl, and ALWAYS open the door for her whether it's just hanging out, or on a date.  I've took this lesson and it to the "T" in my life.  But yet why does it seem that a majority of girls love being with a guy who's completely the opposite?  I don't understand it. 

       I've had the wonderful blessing to of been on several dates with one gal.  She had recently ended a 3 year relationship with her ex.  She told me that her ex was rude.  He'd call her and swear at her, call her mean names, and sometimes make her feel worthless.  As I started to date this girl, I told myself I would not treat her like this.  I'd make her happy as much as I could and I would show my love for by doing the "little" things, and make sure that I treated her with 100% respect and care that she and any girl deserves.  But as time went on we fell apart, and she grew closer to him again, and once again I was left to ponder what went wrong.  What bothered me most, was the fact that she could be going back to the same guy who put her in an emotional pit despair, a lost confusion of who she really is....all because he didn't know how precious she is, what's she's really worth, and how God really felt about her.  I don't know if he ever opened the door for her, if he ever just randomly texted her and thanked her for all she had done for him, or took that moment to just put his arm around her and hold her.  All this I was doing for her and knew it made her feel good about herself.  Now I know I'm probably making this guy sound worse than he might be.  He might be an alright guy, but from the stories she would share of how he treated her, or the one night where I saw her get teary eyed, heard her voice crack, all because this one guy couldn't calm his temper towards her.  I remember on a Sunday, when she was having a rough day, I decided to text her "10 things I LOVE about --" that week we fell apart.  We were supposed to hang out--she stood me up.  The next Sunday I went to her house and we tried to talk but came away with no resolution, and she seemed more frustrated than before  That's when I found out she was talking to her ex again.  I didn't know what to do, my confidence wavered knowing that I couldn't compete against a guy who had already won her heart once and had complete emotional control over this girl.  It KILLED me.  I was beside myself in frustration thinking....what do I have to do, to win a girl's heart? 

            A few years back I was dating a girl with almost an identical situation.  We were brought together through a friend.  We dated for 3 months, her ex during those 3 months was persistent on getting her back.  But he wasn't faithful to the church, had a profane mouth, mean temper, and brought her down emotionally and mentally.  When she first met me, she told me that I made her feel special, that I was amazing, and worth the wait, even through an abuse ex-boyfriend  I was estatic and in love--until he came back.  The ex persuaded her that I was mean, and had brainwashed her into someone she wasn't and that I was ruining her life.  She fell for it, and fell for him.  I was heartbroken.  For a week, when I'd get home from work, I'd go to my room and just bawl.  I didn't understand--I was the person who I knew I should be, the way I was raised and taught, treated her the way I knew she should be treated....but yet, it wasn't attractive to her.  What was it about these guys that girls loved of them?  Why didn't my gentlemen way of treating her overcome all the negativity she had faced in her previous relationship?  Well I think I may have the answer, it's from a lesson I once heard from one of my good friends father.  He talked about if a girl falls for a guy who doesn't live, speak, or act the way that lives up to the standard that's pleasing to our Heavenly Father, then the girl hasn't learned how to treat herself with respect.  And that's something you can't use to persuade a girl to fall in love with you.  They must learn who they are, where they came from, and what they can become, by raising the standards for themselves.  Once they do that, then they hold the people they date to a higher standard.  My example, and kind treatment to them is the best I can give.  Treating them with respect and courtesy to the very best of my ability will bring satisfaction to me, and for that time, even if it's for a brief moment, she'll feel like the Queen of England and I'll get to see her smile.  Afterwhich I just pray it sticks in her memory for the rest of her life.  I've thought about maybe becoming that "ex".  Swearing, yelling, disrespectful, unkind, inconsiderate, negative in a emotional, physical and spiritual way that lowers her self-esteem.  But then my thought turns to those examples of fathers, my own and others in my life.  Who they taught me to be, how happy their wives are because they are with that guy who loves 100% loves her with  pure intent and all his heart.  I think about the sweet guy I've been to these 2 girls whom I had the wonderful chance to date for a short time, and how happy I made them.  I refuse to stoop to a level that degrades the women in our lives.  I can't do it and I won't do it.  Whoever I'm with for all time and eternity will be cherished, and loved for the rest her life.  Just like the way I was taught.

The Tom Brady in ME

I'm 5'2, average in my athleticism, lack strength, and some advanced knowledge in the game, and intelligence of the task at hand, and I've been told several times that "You're not good enough." So what drives me to my obsession of winning?  My competitiveness.  My HEART!  People will look at me, judge the outside of me, say what they want to say, take the guy standing next to me, and think they got the needed formula to win.  What they don't do when studying me, is look at my inside.  No one, ever asks if they can take my heart, rip it open and see what's made of me.  What is my heart made of?  Drive, determination, a want to prove all doubters wrong, a drop of blood colored black in anger to those who don't believe, and there is just that spot in me that HATES losing.  I'll tell you what, I'm a Dr. Jekyll, Mr Hyde kind of guy.  Off the field, I'm nice, loving, sweet, charming, cute, funny, outgoing.  On the field however....I'm mean, I don't smile, laugh, or grin.  I'm cocky, arrogant, I'll yell at my team when we're not playing good, and not say a word when we are.  There's no "Lets have fun guys." in my dictionary of playing a game.  It's either, you care about winning, about succeeding, and about being great, or you don't.  If you don't, then you are saying you don't mind being the second best, don't care if your girlfriend falls in love with the guy on the other team because he's that much better, don't mind, walking off the field knowing you can't make the plays when it matters most, won't care that if you're known as the leader, you're also known as the loser.  I can't stand this attitude!  Ever since I've been a little kid I've always been competitive and hate losing.  I remember when I played my very first recreational soccer game.  It was when we would wear the blue and yellow jerseys, get CapriSun drinks and a treat after the game whether you won or lost....yeah I could care less about the reward after the game. The only reward I wanted was the 'W' that carved itself into your season record.   The drinks, treats-those are gone in a heartbeat.  That first game, we lost and I don't think it was close.  When I went home, I was ticked.  I remember my mom saw that I was teary eyed, she got after me saying "If you can't have fun playing then you shouldn't be doing this."  She was probably right, especially with it being just a recreation game at the age of six.  But I wasn't the person who was going to sit there and say "Yeah, I love playing soccer, and getting my treat after the game whether we won or lost." But yet, she was a little suprised when my response to her was, "I didn't sign up to lose mom!"  I think that's why I've been a leader most of my life.  In church callings, sports teams, and jobs.  Because I absolutely refused to accept a failed result in my life.  But that doesn't mean the field was pretty, with green grass, and no bad spots.  My leadership reputation has been tainted, with bad seasons, poor conduct on and off the field, and even a poor attitude when things weren't going right.  I've learned valuable lessons from those failures, and look to forward to using such lessons in my future life. 

       So you probably are wondering what the title of this blog entry is about.  Well Tom Brady is a professional athlete that is by far my favorite athlete ever!  I LOVE this guy.  He's a competitor, a leader, and he had to do it the hard way.  Tom Brady was a talented athlete.  He played baseball and football in little league and high school.  He was the quarterback for football and a catcher in baseball.  After high school he was drafted by a Major League baseball team named the Montreal Expos.  He declined that option and decided to go to Michigan University to play football for Lloyd Carr.  His first 2 years were excrutiating.  As a freshman Brady found himself seventh on the depth chart behind, the heralded Brian Griese who led the Wolverines to a National Championship.  He was so frustrated that he hired a sports psychologist to help him cope with his depression and at one point wanted to transfer the Unversity of California and walk on their, but his father told him "No, you're staying there and you're going to stick it out."  It payed off.  After battling Drew Henson for playing time, he started every game in his last 2 years.  Brady broke school records his first full year as a starter and ended his Wolverine career on a happy note as he led Michigan to the Orange Bowl where they beat Alabama.  Brady had the game of his life that night throwing for 369 yards and 4 touchdowns.  When he entered the NFL Draft, he worked out at the NFL combine in front of the scouts and coaches.  The scouts and coaches, were not all that impressed with him.  He ran a 5.9 second 40 yard dash and when the combine came to an end, their were critical comments of his performance saying he was to slow.  Throwing motion, speed, decision making, all of it was to slow, and his strength of throwing the football was not good enough in the NFL.  Still, as draft day approached, he was told that he would possibly be a second or third round pick.  Draft day shows up, Brady and the family await anxiously of his spot on an NFL team.  It didn't go as planned.  Tom, sits on his couch hearing one quarterback after another having there name called.  Brady said he was stunned. By the fourth round, Brady told his parents he needed to go for a walk, grabbing a baseball bat, he walked out the door and his parents followed him and they took a walk around a block.  When they came back home, the NFL draft had reached to the 6th round.  New England Patriots had the next pick which was number 199.  The announcement came....the Patriots selected a quarterback- out of Michigan- named Tom Brady.  Tom would be starting by his second year, and that year they won their first Super Bowl in franchise history, and then 2 more in the next 3 years. 

      Tom is a very emotional player on the field.  A couple images that stand out most to me:  In 2009 when playing the Falcons, the Patriots found themselves on Atlantas 10 yard line and they couldn't score with 3 plays and settled for a field goal just before halftime.  As Brady is walking off the field, you see his disgust screaming and yelling at his team.  He gets to the sideline still yelling, takes a seat on the bench....still yelling.  Just one year earlier he tore his ACL in his first game of the season.  During that time off he and his wife were married, later they brought their first child into the family,  After these two life changing incidences, people questioned whether he could stay competitve or not.  He answered that in his first season back from injury.  Another instance deals with that same topic.  Playing against the Steelers, and having a comfortable 10 point lead, it was 3rd down with 4 yards to go.  They couldn't execute a running play, resulting in a punt.  Again walking to the sideline, Tom Brady started to chew his team out in so much he brought the entire offense to to bench where he was shown, on national tv, ripping into his team about the importance of execution.  He hates losing especially to rivals.  Now he is a 3 time Super Bowl Champ, 2 time Super Bowl MVP, 2 time NFL MVP.  He makes a lot of headlines even for the little things.  But NEVER is it for misconduct related incidents.  No club shootings, locker room temper tantrums, butting heads with the coaching staff.  He doesn't have tatoos, earings, or dress in a overfashionable sense that directs attention to himself.  After Brady played his first full NFL game he was to be at his press conference. Now back then qbs had their seperate conference from the rest of the team.  But not Tom Brady.  He told the media relations that he will do his press conference with the rest of the team.  He hates having all the attention put on him,  He's done Visa Credit card commercials with his offensive lineman.  I really enjoy watching his press conferences.  He handles himself in a very professional way, even when they lose.  He acknowledges that the TEAM struggled, not just certain players.  Off the field, he's an angel to his wife, and children.  There's video of him and his wife eating dinner at a resturant.  She gets spoiled by him by the way he treats her, even in public when he knows the whole world is watching him.  He doesn't care, he understands that's his wife, the one he loves, and he truly cherishes her.  It's really cool to watch.  So I know I've typed a novel but I don't feel the least bit sorry about it.  This guy has really taught me how to win on and off the field, how to be a successful leader on and off the field, how to treat a lady, and to some degree, how to be a good ro-model without seeking attention to ones self.  I have a lot of Tom Brady in me, my success won't show up as much as his has, but like Brady, even with that success I wouldn't take credit for it.  My "team" would be the ones to get the attention.  Friends, Family, and the most important part of that team....Heavenly Father!

My Last Lecture

I remember about a year ago  in my psychology 1020 college class, we we're assigned to read "The Last Lecture" written by Dr. Randy Pausch, a professor who was suffering from the fatal pancreatic cancer disease that would later take his life away.   He gave his final lecture to a college class at Carnegie Mellon University, where he was previously a professor for 9 years.  In the lecture he spoke about overcoming obstacles and enabling dreams.  Not giving up on what you want and giving your all for what you have and living life to the end having no regrets.  If you haven't read the book-I strongly suggest you do.  His final lecture is on YouTube as well.  But the book is so much better!  I would like to share my thoughts about the book, and what I would talk about if I had a "last lecture".   

After reading the Last Lecture I feel that the author, Dr. Randy Pausch, and I have a lot in common. I've been through a great deal in my life. I have faced challenges that have affected me emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically, in a good and bad way. Through all those challenges I've been wanting to find someone who has been through great challenges themselves and have been able to overcome them. There are great athletes who have struggled mightily in there younger years..only to fight through it all and succeed in great ways.  On a different day I would probably be wanting to learn about that athlete. But that's not what I need right now. What I need is someone who has struggled and accomplished great things, but not so much though that it intimidates me into thinking that I can't do what he or she has done. In comes Dr. Randy Pausch, a man who found himself facing death. He is a man who used his own weakness, hardships, and failures at life, and, in my opinion, used it as a positive step and made himself a hero. I feel he is a ro-model, a person that all of us can look to and say “Hey that's me right there!”. Dr. Pausch is a man who could have focused only on himself, but chose to focus on how to help others, by teaching, exemplifying and making the most of his life even when it seemed that there was nothing to make of it.

One chapter I enjoyed was found in chapter seven titled I Never Made It to the NFL. This part reminded me a lot of the way I was taught in my life. Dr. Pausch tells of when he was playing football and it seemed that the head coach was always tougher on him than a lot of the other kids. After practice one day, he approached his assistant coach about his concern, and the coach responded, “That's a good thing. When you're screwing up and nobody says anything to you, that means they've given up on you.” Throughout my childhood and even to this day, it seems my mother has always been a little bit more stern with me compared to my siblings.  I asked her once why that was. She told me that it was because she had high expectations of me, that I was to be the example.  I have found myself to be a much better person in every aspect of my life, today because of those expectations. It's not just my mother though.  It's been coaches, church leaders, and close friends. They have all let me know that they hold me to a high standard. I've learned to take that as encouragement and turn perceived failure into positive mentality.

Another favorite chapter of mine was Romancing the Brick Wall.  Now as mean and hard hearted as I like to think I am, I do have a very soft spot for romantic love.  This chapter tells the story of the beginning of Dr. Pausch's relationship with his future wife Jai.  Dr. Pausch found himself in love with Jai, who was afraid of falling in love. When Randy proposed to Jai, she rejected him.  Still after, these two continued to date, than one afternoon when Jai dropped off Randy who was to give a presentation at a school, just as he was about to get out of the car, he turned and told her, “Look, I'm going to find a way to be happy, and I'd really love to be happy with you, but if I can't be happy with you, then I'll have to find a way to be happy without you.” What I love about this is with or without Jai, Dr. Pausch was determined to have happiness in his life. This showed me that even if our hearts are broken, life goes on and is worth living. I've experienced heartbreak at times in my life, and sometimes it seems more than bearable at the moment  But yet, I have realized that my happiness comes from within myself, my attitude and not from another person. I need to create happiness with what I'm given.  And yes, it is possible.
    I remember sometime in 2010 I was asked to give a motivational speech at Deseret Industries.  I gave two of them, one to the morning shift, another to the afternoon shift.  It was supposed to be about what I was doing after my employment had expired at the D.I. in 2005, but instead I shared with them how I got that far, and how I got to where I am today.   I told them about being born in India, and being put in an orphanage I talked about my adopted parents in America having to wait 6 long months cause I was sick and close to death.  About my mothers joy when she finally held me and how she has always encouraged me throughout my life, even when I didn't understand her way of doing things. I encouraged them to not allow anyone to bring them down verbally, emotionally, or physically; to always keep their heads up and to walk proudly every day because of who they are and where they came from. I told them that just because we feel inadequate to do great things, doesn't mean that our hearts can't carry us to great heights. I shared with them that we need to persevere to the end through all adversity.  I told them how I was bullied in school everyday because I was different and after school, running home to my mom crying and saying that I never wanted to go back.  My reward for that perseverence came when I was named Male Athlete of the Year and Student of the Year by the high school administration my Senior year in 2004. I talked to them about not letting pride get in the way of what we have the ability and talent to do, and not letting our ego take us higher than we ought to be at that very moment. I warned them of the dangers of bad friends and wrong decisions, and reminded them that there is a consequence for every action.  I've had friends who've made wrong decisions in their own lives, and I have seen them suffer through it.  It's a very hard to thing to watch happen.  I talked to them about the closeness of friends that I have, and that there good example, and close friendship has had a very lasting impact on me and a gave me a deep appreciation for them coming and staying in my life.. 

Finally, I told them that the greatest failure in life is when we don't allow ourselves to dream. When we don't dream, we can't create a vision, when we can't create a vision, we can't see the goal, and when we can't see the goal , we've lost hope on being able to succeed. and success is the motivator in living every day. I dream, I vision, I see, I hope, and I will succeed, just as Dr. Randy Pausch did in his life.  I will affect others in a positive way with my upbeat attitude, love of life, my daring to dream, and motivation to accomplish it. My hope, is that that my presentation would not be known as “The Last Lecture” but as “Great People come in Small Packages.”