My Last Lecture

I remember about a year ago  in my psychology 1020 college class, we we're assigned to read "The Last Lecture" written by Dr. Randy Pausch, a professor who was suffering from the fatal pancreatic cancer disease that would later take his life away.   He gave his final lecture to a college class at Carnegie Mellon University, where he was previously a professor for 9 years.  In the lecture he spoke about overcoming obstacles and enabling dreams.  Not giving up on what you want and giving your all for what you have and living life to the end having no regrets.  If you haven't read the book-I strongly suggest you do.  His final lecture is on YouTube as well.  But the book is so much better!  I would like to share my thoughts about the book, and what I would talk about if I had a "last lecture".   

After reading the Last Lecture I feel that the author, Dr. Randy Pausch, and I have a lot in common. I've been through a great deal in my life. I have faced challenges that have affected me emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically, in a good and bad way. Through all those challenges I've been wanting to find someone who has been through great challenges themselves and have been able to overcome them. There are great athletes who have struggled mightily in there younger years..only to fight through it all and succeed in great ways.  On a different day I would probably be wanting to learn about that athlete. But that's not what I need right now. What I need is someone who has struggled and accomplished great things, but not so much though that it intimidates me into thinking that I can't do what he or she has done. In comes Dr. Randy Pausch, a man who found himself facing death. He is a man who used his own weakness, hardships, and failures at life, and, in my opinion, used it as a positive step and made himself a hero. I feel he is a ro-model, a person that all of us can look to and say “Hey that's me right there!”. Dr. Pausch is a man who could have focused only on himself, but chose to focus on how to help others, by teaching, exemplifying and making the most of his life even when it seemed that there was nothing to make of it.

One chapter I enjoyed was found in chapter seven titled I Never Made It to the NFL. This part reminded me a lot of the way I was taught in my life. Dr. Pausch tells of when he was playing football and it seemed that the head coach was always tougher on him than a lot of the other kids. After practice one day, he approached his assistant coach about his concern, and the coach responded, “That's a good thing. When you're screwing up and nobody says anything to you, that means they've given up on you.” Throughout my childhood and even to this day, it seems my mother has always been a little bit more stern with me compared to my siblings.  I asked her once why that was. She told me that it was because she had high expectations of me, that I was to be the example.  I have found myself to be a much better person in every aspect of my life, today because of those expectations. It's not just my mother though.  It's been coaches, church leaders, and close friends. They have all let me know that they hold me to a high standard. I've learned to take that as encouragement and turn perceived failure into positive mentality.

Another favorite chapter of mine was Romancing the Brick Wall.  Now as mean and hard hearted as I like to think I am, I do have a very soft spot for romantic love.  This chapter tells the story of the beginning of Dr. Pausch's relationship with his future wife Jai.  Dr. Pausch found himself in love with Jai, who was afraid of falling in love. When Randy proposed to Jai, she rejected him.  Still after, these two continued to date, than one afternoon when Jai dropped off Randy who was to give a presentation at a school, just as he was about to get out of the car, he turned and told her, “Look, I'm going to find a way to be happy, and I'd really love to be happy with you, but if I can't be happy with you, then I'll have to find a way to be happy without you.” What I love about this is with or without Jai, Dr. Pausch was determined to have happiness in his life. This showed me that even if our hearts are broken, life goes on and is worth living. I've experienced heartbreak at times in my life, and sometimes it seems more than bearable at the moment  But yet, I have realized that my happiness comes from within myself, my attitude and not from another person. I need to create happiness with what I'm given.  And yes, it is possible.
    I remember sometime in 2010 I was asked to give a motivational speech at Deseret Industries.  I gave two of them, one to the morning shift, another to the afternoon shift.  It was supposed to be about what I was doing after my employment had expired at the D.I. in 2005, but instead I shared with them how I got that far, and how I got to where I am today.   I told them about being born in India, and being put in an orphanage I talked about my adopted parents in America having to wait 6 long months cause I was sick and close to death.  About my mothers joy when she finally held me and how she has always encouraged me throughout my life, even when I didn't understand her way of doing things. I encouraged them to not allow anyone to bring them down verbally, emotionally, or physically; to always keep their heads up and to walk proudly every day because of who they are and where they came from. I told them that just because we feel inadequate to do great things, doesn't mean that our hearts can't carry us to great heights. I shared with them that we need to persevere to the end through all adversity.  I told them how I was bullied in school everyday because I was different and after school, running home to my mom crying and saying that I never wanted to go back.  My reward for that perseverence came when I was named Male Athlete of the Year and Student of the Year by the high school administration my Senior year in 2004. I talked to them about not letting pride get in the way of what we have the ability and talent to do, and not letting our ego take us higher than we ought to be at that very moment. I warned them of the dangers of bad friends and wrong decisions, and reminded them that there is a consequence for every action.  I've had friends who've made wrong decisions in their own lives, and I have seen them suffer through it.  It's a very hard to thing to watch happen.  I talked to them about the closeness of friends that I have, and that there good example, and close friendship has had a very lasting impact on me and a gave me a deep appreciation for them coming and staying in my life.. 

Finally, I told them that the greatest failure in life is when we don't allow ourselves to dream. When we don't dream, we can't create a vision, when we can't create a vision, we can't see the goal, and when we can't see the goal , we've lost hope on being able to succeed. and success is the motivator in living every day. I dream, I vision, I see, I hope, and I will succeed, just as Dr. Randy Pausch did in his life.  I will affect others in a positive way with my upbeat attitude, love of life, my daring to dream, and motivation to accomplish it. My hope, is that that my presentation would not be known as “The Last Lecture” but as “Great People come in Small Packages.”